Do you see yourself as a caregiver?
Care. Giver. Two supportive, positive words. But when combined into “caregiver,” all sorts of conflicting emotions may arise in us. Who is a caregiver? Do you define yourself as one? Caregivers are loving supporters and also strict disciplinarians. They’re teachers or coaches and yet they also learn from and play with their charges. They’re researchers and advocates. It seems that they can do it all. Yet, many caregivers don’t identify as one, even though they may need the resources and support a caregiver typically requires.
Roughly half of US adults care for a child, parent, or other relative; that’s more than 100 million caregivers.1
How many caregivers do you work with? Probably more than you think.
When Guardian asked parents of young children how they define their relationship to their loved ones, some referenced the chores they provide, such as “personal chauffeur,” “calendar keeper,” and “handyman.” But apart from labels supporting daily labor and tasks, caregivers define themselves positively as “superheroes.”2
Based on their own experiences, everyone has their own definition of who a caregiver is. If the perception is that a caregiver only cares for someone who is ill or incapacitated, perhaps the definition should be broader.
Parents of young children can be particularly reluctant to identify as a caregiver. Identifying as a caregiver might ring true only in the context of caring for someone sick or elderly, not acting as Mom or Dad.
Elizabeth is one of 10 million single parents who work full-time while raising children.3 "I used to define a caregiver as someone who was dealing with a real hardship,” she said. “It was something that didn’t apply to me because I don’t have an ill parent causing a great deal of stress. But after having a baby, I realized that the kind of the support that caregivers require —like needing guilt-free time from work to take someone other than themselves to the doctor — is support that I now need too.”
Much of what parents say they need intersects with what most caregivers need. They desire:
Self-care and reflection.
Time to connect with others.
Activities to do with loved ones.
Real life education (e.g., financial literacy, career choices).
Nutrition and meal prep help.
Reminders to be kind to themselves.
All things fitness.
More basic resources (e.g., money, housing).4
Like many caregivers, parents gravitate towards communities and influencers who provide advice and answer questions. Parents of young children are looking for resources to keep their kids entertained. They’re looking for advice on education and appropriate developmental stages to assure themselves their children are physically and mentally healthy.
Parents of special needs children are looking for these types of resources too. However, they need even more specialized guidance. Over 5 million full-time workers are parents of a child with special health care needs.5 Only 1 in 3 feel their employer offers adequate support in terms of policies and benefits.6
They often need time apart or during work to advocate for their children. One of the advocacy difficulties for these parents can be identifying precisely what’s wrong. “The journey these families go on is referred to as a diagnostic odyssey,” according to the Center for Family Involvement. “A diagnosis, even if inaccurate, opens the door to much needed services and treatments.”7
Diagnostic odysseys are not foreign to caregiver groups. Adults caring for spouses or partners or parents often spend months or years trying to understand what’s causing symptoms and debilitation.
“I was reluctant to use the term caregiver in the beginning,” said Kathy, a caregiver to her spouse. “But as my husband became less and less able to walk, we both had to admit what was happening. We had no diagnosis, but we had to move to the first floor of our house because he could not handle the stairs. Over the almost 40 years we’ve been married, we split responsibilities. I never touched a car, took out the garbage, or fixed anything in the house or yard; he never touched a checkbook or paid a bill. All that has changed for the time being. And I’ve found that recognizing caregiving as a normal stage of life has helped me find the support and guidance I need, and ultimately get to a rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis we can deal with.”
Community and culture for caregivers in the office
Working caregivers may be concerned about being held back in their career growth because they are viewed as being distracted or having other responsibilities. They fear that non-caregiving colleagues may be tapped for projects instead. This can result in a culture of presenteeism, a loss of productivity that occurs when workers are in the office but not working at peak performance because they are too worried about their loved ones. As a result, working caregivers experience reduced productivity by one-third.8
As a counteraction, as well as a part of company culture and empathy, many organizations are trying to normalize caregiving as a daily part of what happens at the workplace. If an organization’s culture does not openly acknowledge that employees have other responsibilities outside of work, workers feel they cannot discuss those needs or ask for help from their management. Despite the best of intentions, caregiving workers may sometimes be absent from an important presentation or be unable to come into the office if they cannot arrange for last-minute backup care. A manager who can provide support and flexibility in these circumstances is meaningful and will contribute to a worker’s higher overall well-being.
Inclusive policies that caregivers need
Many resources are helpful for anyone who is dealing with the largely unseen demands of caregiving, no matter what type of care they provide.
The colleagues that Guardian spoke to said that flexible scheduling is important. It allows employees to adjust their work hours to their personal situation — such as paid parental/family leave, caregiving responsibilities, childcare, or health conditions — and can go a long way toward reducing their stress.
Expanding paid leave policies can help employees take the time they need for caregiving and personal health needs, helping them return to work when they’re ready, without financial hardship.
Caregiving is a strain on mental health and stress, resulting in working caregivers being three times more likely to experience their own disability-related leave.9 Mental health is an important part of maintaining workers’ overall health and productivity. Having access to mental health resources — from therapists and counselors to cognitive behavioral therapy and meditation apps — improves a worker’s well-being, and in turn can make them a better caregiver.
Those who care for the elderly or incapacitated need help vetting care options, researching insurance and financial questions, and putting together long-term care plans. They need access to geriatric care managers and expert help with estate planning and will preparation. Caregiving concierge services provide all these forms of support and more.
Parents need different forms of support. For the youngest children, the greatest need of support is vetting and financing childcare options. A caregiver of a school and college-age child may need guidance to help them navigate the educational system, including special needs programs like IEPs and 504s, finding tutoring support, and prepping for college.
Helping the helpers
Many organizations are trying to address their working caregivers’ needs, but without all caregivers identifying as such, the employee group is a moving target. So, it makes knowing which resources to offer a more difficult task. The types of caring and the levels of stress caregivers experience may vary, but there’s a need for support regardless of what type of care the employee is providing.
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